I Miss You
by AlwaysRain
Summary: Spain has always been loving to Romano, even when he's being cruelly pushed away. But what happens when the insults suddenly sink in, when Romano snaps? Life can backfire with a punch, and it'll knock them to their knees. Especially Romano. Can he fix what he's ruined? Or does he have to suffer the pain of his mistakes... forever? Rated T for Romano's... ah... language. xD


_Nana… Nanana Nana  
I miss you, miss you so bad…_

Nothing can fill this gap you left. I'm standing in that doorway again, watching as you walk away. But then the present returns, and I'm left to cruelly hide in my room as the tears drop off my cheeks.

_I don't forget you… oh, it's so sad  
I hope you can year me, I remember it clearly_

I wish I could take back what I said. I never meant any of it, but all of it made you leave. I can see your face in detail and how hurt you were. I can never forget that.

_The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same_

Because of what I've done, I've ruined my entire life. Never again can I got out into those fields and pick tomatoes with you. Never hear you laughing in the next row as I throw rotten fruit at you. Never scowl and drag my feet as you dance me around the room, singing at the top of your lungs.

_Nana… Nanana Nana  
I didn't get around to kiss you goodbye on the hand_

I wish I'd gotten that chance. Everytime I sit here and think about it, that gap grows bigger, my tears grow more numerous. I didn't even get to say goodbye.

_I wish I could see you again, I know that I can't  
I hope you can hear me, I remember it clearly_

I have to try holding back the sobs, because I know that they just can't help. Once again, your smile in detail as it falls away, replaced by that wounded shock. You were just joking around like always, and I told you those horrid words. _"Just fucking leave me alone! I fucking hate you, you fucking tomato bastard!"_

_The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same_

Because of those words, I can never run to you for help again. Never relive those memories of when I was young, when you'd let me sleep in your bed during the thunderstorms. Never feel the weight of your hand patting my hair as you sung soft Spanish lullabies to me when I was scared.

_I've had my wake up, won't you wake up  
I keep asking 'Why?'_

All the questions linger in my mind as the moon rises above the trees. I'm in the wrong. I think of you every day, and it's been so long. Do you think of me? Why did I say it, when it was a lie? Why?

_And I can't take it. It wasn't fake, it  
It happened you passed by_

I can't take it anymore, all this pain and loneliness. I've come to think of your place as home, so home is not here with my brother. You passed by me at the meeting last week. And it wasn't my imagination that those eyes of yours looked the other way, was it? I can't take this. I bite my lip and dial your number.

_Now you're gone, now you're gone  
There you go, there you go  
Somewhere I can't bring you back_

You're gone, and I can't reach you. I keep replaying that day in my mind. It hurts. Your phone rings, but you don't pick up. I'm not surprised, but this stings like a whip. I sniff, tears still racing down my cheeks. I redial.

_Now you're gone, now you're gone  
There you go, there you go  
Somewhere you're not coming back_

You're too distant to scream for. The millionth time today, I'm thinking of you and how you walked away. Please pick up. I need to year your voice. The phone stops ringing. I catch my breath. But it isn't you. It seems that the phone has given up hope of having you, just as I have. I redial.

_The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same_

Because I voiced my stupidity, I'll never spend hours of the day in the kitchen with you, cooking dinner. I'll never curl up on the couch next to your for the daily nap, your siesta time. I'll never watch from a window as you argue with France and Prussia, your best friends, and insist you won't be leaving me alone that night. I can never- the ringing stops.

_The day you slipped away  
Was the day I found it won't be the same_

Because you're gone, my life will never be the same. There will always be a gaping hole. One that can never be filled as I hide in the shadows, watching your boss yell at you for protecting me again. Never be filled with your kind face, your warm eyes, your sweet smile, your welcoming arms. Never be filled with your loving hugs, even as I scream and punch at you. Unless I can fix what I've done. I hear your voice, answering my desperation at last. "Bueno?" Like you always do in your home. I catch my breath, eyes stinging. "I'm sorry," I say, my throat closing painfully as the tears come faster than before. "Romano? Is that you?"

_Nana… Nanana Nana  
I miss you_

"Forgive me, Spain. I miss you."


End file.
